I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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