He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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