WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
