If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Randomize
