i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
