I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
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