remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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