How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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