we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
