hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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