idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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