A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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