My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
