are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
