I wish I could punch you in the face.
I want to have your abortion
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
