the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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