I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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