You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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