you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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