doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just found puke in my bra..
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize