Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm both gender and math confused
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
