Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
