Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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