AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
