Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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