I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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