the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
