Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
