i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
