unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
