it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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