I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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