What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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