O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
