I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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