I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
i've created a new STD.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
