I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
