She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
