i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
