So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
