he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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