One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Who died my cat blue again?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
