kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize