she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
