True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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