I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
