$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
