Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
