Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
