it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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