no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
