so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize