Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
