well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I think I am morally bankrupt
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
