Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
